Dear Alex

Dear Alex,

Today is the first day you attend secondary school. Wow! Where has the time gone? I still remember your first day at Primary School. The moment you got your uniform you kept trying it on asking me every day, “mummy is it time yet?” You posed in front of the mirror looking at yourself with me looking at you wishing you didn’t have to grow up but knowing that you were so ready for it. You wanted to be one of the big boys and join your big brother Sam at school. You used to say to people “I’m going to big school now” and we all knew how you felt.

And now, seven years on we go through the same routine – new haircut, new uniform, hemming your trousers because you are still dinky for your age, and I’m still sewing your name onto your uniform in case it gets lost or mislaid. Whilst I’m running around organising everything,  I pause to reflect on all that has passed in those seven years. You are still keen to jump into your day with a joy and an energy and a smile on your face. You love having your bag ready, your shoelaces are tied and you are ready and dressed for school at 6.15am! You’re ready to learn to embrace new challenges to live your life to the fullest! I’m so proud of you!

I’m still in bed but realise it’s time to get ready. How could I not be there for you for such a special occasion. And I realise that I have a sadness too inside of me that misses your childhood and your cuteness as I do up your tie even when you protest you can do it yourself. It’s my mummy privilege to do this one small thing for you 😢.

I can’t help but feel so proud of you as I have done from the very beginning of all of my children. You are my youngest child and I’ll never again have this moment with you so I want to savour every moment to hold you and hug you and kiss your little face and tell you I love you. Even when I drop you off you are anxious about being late and the traffic but it pales into insignificance as you see your friends from St Lukes, smiling at you and you walk through those doors and don’t look back.  The little group of Tom, Mitchell, Corey, Elliot and you – together at last on your new adventures! You’re going to be just fine. I just know it because they are with you cheering you on – just like I always will be. My gorgeous smiley Alex – how I love you!